What's Next?

I lie awake tonight,
Wishing of things I can change.
I try to convince myself,
But it's all so strange.

Is it me,
Or is it you?
Do I try,
Or are we through?

So long we've shared
Just to walk away.
But so much hurt
To want to stay.

Why do we do this,
Try to hurt the other more,
Only to watch one
Walk right out the door?

I love you so much,
Yet I push you to the point of breaking,
But why do you play with my heart
And never stop taking?

Is this the end
Or a new beginning?
Only one can guide me
When my head is spinning.

Don't push,
Don't try,
Don't stress,
Don't cry.

That is what plays
Over in my head
As I try to close my eyes
And just go to bed.

Yes I was hurt

Yes I was hurt;

Just by having a mere thought of losing you, I was hurt.

Seeing my love through your eyes, I was hurt.

Feeling my self respect being ignored by my generous love, I was hurt

Preconceptualizing your hatred as your way of love, I was hurt.

By Your Oscillating To's and Fro's around my love, I was hurt

Listening to the cry of my heart every second, I was hurt.

Always being the extra optimistic one, I was hurt.

Losing all the dreams we saw together at once, I was hurt

And sadly you only know that I was hurt,

I wish you could never feel how much.